Being Cool – How to Fail College Without Really Trying

Being Cool – How to Fail College Without Really Trying

Cool clothes, and a cool attitude. Its cool to be later for class, cool to disrespect your professor, cool to seem not to care. Laugh when you shouldn’t. Way cool.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Forget homework. Party like the world ends tomorrow… because, hey, who know for sure if it won’t?

The ultimate cool, if the professor says something you don’t want to hear or learn, just leave. It’s pure nihilism, the utmost coolness to get up and walk out during the lecture.

Or you can go the other way— be purposefully annoying. That makes the other students laugh. At least, the cool ones will laugh.

Make up weird questions, and ask them in funny ways. You can work in your own life lessons that way, and make the professor think you are way cool.

Student

The best thing about being cool? The other students will look up to you for wasting class time and breaking the boredom of actual learning.

Here’s another cool approach— act smarter than the professor. Think up one point and argue that one point and keep it up all through class— get your argument going with the professor and no matter how many times you’re proved wrong, never let go.

This way some of the other cool students will be convinced you’re right— because they haven’t studied the material any more than you have. Above all, make a big assumption and stick to it— the wilder the better.

Forget different points of view. Those are for losers. You’re right. And you’re cool.

Never waste cool clothes money or party funds on something lame like, say, buying a text.

Google everything. This way you don’t even need to take notes. How can that not be cool? Plus, in an emergency, you can always borrow notes. When you’re cool, everyone wants to do anything you want, right?

Download your papers from the web. Always ask for an extension to hand them in, because this makes you look like you did the work and need more time. That’s so cool.

Never bother trying to learn anything that won’t be tested. Always ask the professor if stuff will be on the exam. Work smarter, not harder, right?

I hope these little tips help you on your road to graduating.

If you are flipping burgers 10 years from now, at least you were cool in school, right?

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